


Last Words

by MechanicalMetamorphosis



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: M/M, unfaithful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-10 15:12:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3295022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MechanicalMetamorphosis/pseuds/MechanicalMetamorphosis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It was the last lie Toshiya would ever hear him say.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Words

**Author's Note:**

  * For [solongsun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/solongsun/gifts).



Toshiya sighed, wrapping long fingers around his mug. He briefly glanced towards Kyo, then went back to watching the rest of the world through the glass, sitting on the window seat. He blew on his green tea and took a small sip.

“So? Was he any good?”

Silence chased Toshiya’s words, and it took a few seconds until Kyo actually closed the door to let himself in. He did not try to deny it. He did not try to ask what Toshiya was talking about, because he knew exactly what. 

“What do you want me to say?” Kyo was tired, but he barely let it show. Toshiya knew him well, though, so hiding anything from him was no use. Kyo, on the other hand, had become a lot less perceptive than he used to, and he hadn’t noticed Toshiya watching him. He had been way too wrapped up in his own little world for that. And that had definitely been a huge mistake on his part.

Toshiya’s response to that was a derisive laugh. He finally turned his hand to look at Kyo who stood there, clearly unhappy with the situation.

“Oh, I don’t know. Why don’t you start with how his mouth felt around your fucking cock? Did you like fucking him? Are you satisfied, now?!” Toshiya’s tone rose and it took everything in him not to shout. He knew the walls were paper-thin, and as much as he would love to see Kyo’s reputation go down, his lover would not be the only one to suffer. 

Kyo had the decency to stay silent on that, but it was not enough for Toshiya. After barely a second or two of tense silence, he went on, voice dripping with sarcasm, “oh, where are my manners? You should ask him to come home one of these days. I’d love to cook something for him. With cyanide, maybe. Or would he prefer anthrax? Because I’m pretty sure I could--”

“Toshiya, stop it…” Kyo sighed, interrupting his lover’s rant. But to no avail.

“Oh, so now you can talk, huh?” Toshiya’s mug went crashing down as he stood up, enraged with fury, “but you know what would have been better? To hear it from you instead of someone else. You could have been a man for once and told me you were unhappy instead of going to fuck Ruki behind my back! Fuck, Kyo, was I just a game to you? Just someone to lie next to at night and fuck from time to time?” He had not realized he was crying until Kyo’s image started to blur. He stubbornly wiped his tears with the back of his sleeve, not noticing as Kyo came closer. And all it took was a single touch from Kyo to let the anger dissolve into thin air, leaving only despair in its place.

“Toshiya…” Kyo’s voice became unusually soft as his hand dived into Toshiya’s long, black hair.

Toshiya’s eyes slipped closed as his voice lowered to match Kyo’s.

“Fuck you, Kyo, just… fuck you…”

The tattooed man pressed their foreheads together, whispering against Toshiya’s trembling lips, “I know…”

“I hate you…”

Kyo smiled at that, but no one could have missed the tinge of sorrow in that little curve of lips.

“I know that, too. But I also know that I love you.”

Toshiya could count on one hand how many times Kyo had said that to him in all the years they had been together. Hearing him say that now made his heart ache.

“Why?” Toshiya’s voice was small as he looked up at Kyo, black eyes framed by wet eyelashes. Kyo knew this question was hiding a lot more than a single “why”. He wanted to know why he loved him. Why he slept with Ruki. Why he chose to hide it from him. Why he didn’t end things with him instead of going behind his back. All of those things he had wondered at night when Kyo wasn’t lying next to him but lying to him all the same.

Kyo didn’t have the answer to that.

“We’ll talk about it later.”

Kyo kissed Toshiya’s forehead almost lovingly, another part of Toshiya’s heart crumbling under his lips. The shorter man took his mug away to set it on the coffee table and then took Toshiya’s hand in his, leading him to their bedroom. Toshiya was tired and he knew he would get nothing out of Kyo right then. It had always been like this with him, and Toshiya kind of gave up. He would try again the day after and hope Kyo was in the right mindset to finally talk to him.

Toshiya didn’t utter a word as Kyo gently undressed him and ushered him into bed. He didn’t say a word either as Kyo took off his own clothes, but as he was about to join him in bed, Toshiya rose a hand to stop him.

“Did you take a shower?” Did you take a shower after you fucked him?

Kyo’s hesitance was answer enough.

“You know where the bathroom is. Unless you prefer sleeping in the living room. The choice is yours.”

Kyo complied, not sure when Toshiya had become in charge of their relationship. Maybe he had given him the upper hand when he had first stumbled into Ruki’s bed for more than an innocent massage.

When he came back, fresh from the shower, he found Toshiya, his back to him, pretending to sleep. He slid into bed right behind him, an arm around Toshiya’s middle. 

Toshiya didn’t protest as Kyo slipped a hand between his thighs.

He didn’t protest as Kyo took him. Deep down, he knew Kyo was not just fucking him. He was making love to him. And Toshiya couldn’t help but cry silently as he felt his lover moving gently inside of him, saying a lot more than he had with his words.

Kyo was the only one who came that night, and as he caught sight of Toshiya’s tears, he kept close to him and whispered against his neck.

“I’m sorry.”

At this very moment, Toshiya realized Kyo had no intention of cutting any ties with Ruki.

\---

A warm ray of sun woke Toshiya up from his slumber. He felt exhausted and rolled on the bed to look for Kyo’s warmth only to find a cold, empty spot next to him. He opened his eyes immediately and sat up, looking around. Kyo was not in the bedroom, and he probably was not in the apartment anymore. Toshiya clutched the covers to himself and bent his knees, desperately keeping what little of warmth he had left.

“Happy birthday…”

It was Kyo’s birthday, and he had decided to spend it with someone else than Toshiya. This wasn’t the first time Kyo did something like that, going behind his back, hiding the truth, and deep down he knew Toshiya would end it one day. He had no idea this would be the last straw.

That was the last thing Toshiya ever said to him.

And he had not been there to hear it.

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote as a birthday gift for andrew_in_drag, a year ago~ I noticed I had forgotten to post it here :) so now it's done~


End file.
